Therefore, in a culture that puts such high value on physical appearance, it becomes hard to negotiate what kind of attention is and isn’t welcomed. We worked hard for that body, so somebody better want to touch it. It is worth noting as well that - at times - it is this kind of physical validation that we also seek out. There is a sense of ownership and propriety in these instances that transfers this kind of behavior downstream through the whole nightlife experience for many of us. We so often commoditize male bodies through our social settings and sex work, that we don’t treat them with any humanity. When there is a muscled jock dancing on a box who is letting you tuck dollars into his speedo, it seems hard to tell what’s okay and what’s not. In gay clubs, the lines of consent often find themselves as blurred as the vision of their patrons after one too many vodka sodas.
Yet as we’ve built fences to protect us from the hatred of the outside world, we’ve forgotten the need to protect the people inside of it as well.
Gay bars and gay venues offer a safe environment to celebrate our sexuality, free of judgment. In the heterosexual-dominated spaces of the outside world, we might be subjected to bigotry for expressing our sexuality. However, these spaces do and should represent more than just lust and sex. If there isn’t a chance we might get laid, you can almost guarantee many of us won’t be going. Advertisements for gay nightlife or events frequently feature hot dudes in states of undress and, in the clubs, muscle-clad gogo boys dance on the bar for our entertainment. Sexuality and sexual expression are huge parts of gay culture and many of the spaces gay men create for themselves are hypersexualized. Sexual assault affects every community, but the gay community has had particular difficulty confronting it because its victims can also be perpetrators.